i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
