You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
