Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
