I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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