Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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