Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
