Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
