my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
i out mim tonsoeep
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