Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
