I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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