If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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