Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
fuck your aforementioned shoe
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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