Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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