that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
