We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
