I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
