All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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