Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
