I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
