Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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