She went from zero to smokin in five shots
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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