all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
