why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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