I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
