I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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