I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I faked an abortion last night.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
