Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
