This girl is more easily done than said...
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
