My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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