Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
