He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
being pregnant is like rehab
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
