Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
