My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
