Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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