she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
