we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
My pussy is not your playground.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
