On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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