He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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