Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Randomize
