Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Can Purell be used as lube?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
