please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
