Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
