Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
sarcasm needs its own font
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
