Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
