going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
