2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
