I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
The best revenge is premature balding
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
