Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
