help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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