How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
A bitchslap is in order.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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