He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
