i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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