At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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