why didn't you poke me back
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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