I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
