3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
