I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Threesome in a minivan. New low
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
So much Jack, so little girl.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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