Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
It's rum buckets o'clock
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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