Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
