he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
