What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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